For example, while next to normal cleverly (or is it just a bit sick, too?) sells small pill cases, what if they actually sold Valium at intermission? Maybe Wicked could sell “Galinda Bubbles” in a pink bottle, of course. Or how about some magical green elixir that only makes you pee green for a week? In the Heights could certainly sell some piragua, especially in the summer months, and coffee with condensed milk in the winter. South Pacific could sell honey buns and shampoo. Memphis’ cast recording could be a series of 45’s (side note: I bet the CD will be printed to look like one for real). The Phantom mask is actually sold at the Majestic, but maybe they could sell Phantom lair/doll sets, or a complete line of Masquerade costumes, especially at this time of year.
Xanadu seemed to get what I’m saying with their legwarmers and disco ball key chains. And any Disney musical sells an embarrassment of riches. 9 to 5 sold coffee mugs and post-it notes, and White Christmas sells snow globes.
And I suppose Hair selling joints and West Side Story selling toy Chino-killing guns would be entirely inappropriate. And I’m thankful for what Urinetown DIDN’T sell during its long run. And I’m a little afraid of what The Addams Family might come up with.
But would it have killed Shrek to sell headless gingerbread men? I mean did anyone who saw the show besides me want to tear that pain in the, uh, stomach’s little mouth off?